The New York Times came out with an article recently titled, “13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married.”
No, we’re not talking questions like, “Which flowers should I get,” or “How should I style my hair?” Rather, these difficult (yes, difficult) questions dive into topics that can ultimately help build the foundation for a stable marriage, according to relationship experts.
And because apparently not enough couples are having honest discussions where they have a chance to spill secrets before it’s too late, we thought we’d list the conversation-starters here; after all, as Robert Scuka, the Executive Director of the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement, says, “If you don’t deal with an issue before you’re married, you deal with it while you’re married.”
1. Did your family throw plates, calmly discuss issues or silently shut down when issues arose?
2. Will we have children, and if we do, will you change diapers?
3. Will our experiences with our exes help or hinder us?
4. How important is religion? How will we celebrate religious holidays, if at all?
5. Is my debt your debt? Would you be willing to bail me out?
6. What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a car, a couch, shoes?
7. Can you deal with my doing things without you?
8. Do we like each other’s parents?
9. How important is sex to you?
10. How far should we take flirting with other people? Is watching pornography O.K.?
11. Do you know all the ways I say “I love you”?
12. What do you admire about me, and what are your pet peeves?
13. How do you see us 10 years from now?